We have heard a great deal about the Holy Family over the last few weeks, and the central message that we need to look to them as models for our own families. That can seem like a bar too high to reach, but a tidbit from a homily I heard last week gave me a new perspective on how our not-always-so-holy families can help us grow in holiness too.
The saints give us insight into this formula. When we read their stories, we hear that they struggled with all the same sins that we do. They were not born saints; they developed their sanctity over time. Their families and life experiences honed their natures, purging and buffing them to a beautiful sheen of holiness.
No human beings, other than our Blessed Mother, are born holy. Our sinful natures point us to selfishness and all the rest of humanity’s faults. So, it is within our families that we learn to be kind and compassionate, patient and tolerant, ambitious and resourceful, and countless other admirable qualities.
The lessons and opportunities begin in childhood as we learn to navigate family personalities and household routines with our parents, siblings, and other relatives. Then they continue when we marry and learn to negotiate and accept our spouse’s and his/her family’s differences. If children come along, we don’t only teach them, but they can teach us to become better people too. If they marry, we start a new lesson of navigating our relationships with their spouses and families. It doesn’t end. I would expect that even if we outlive all our family members and finish up our lives in a nursing home, the fellow residents and staff will be the family that continue to help make us saints.
Interestingly, it may not be that favorite grandmother that teaches us the most important lessons. The strained relationships that require hard work may be the burnishing tools that produce our most lustrous glow.
Scripture: This week, read Hebrews 10:24-25. What is it saying to you?
Call to Action: Who are the people in your family that have brought the best out in you? Don’t disregard the effects of the most challenging and demanding relatives.
